{"id":66,"date":"2017-10-12T16:05:26","date_gmt":"2017-10-12T16:05:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/toddadamscoaching.com\/2017\/10\/12\/wanted-white-men\/"},"modified":"2020-01-05T00:44:26","modified_gmt":"2020-01-05T00:44:26","slug":"wanted-white-men","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toddadamscoaching.com\/2017\/10\/12\/wanted-white-men\/","title":{"rendered":"Wanted: White Men\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2026to step into the mature masculine. I define this as the capacity to be both strong and gentle, competitive and compassionate and the wisdom<\/strong> to know which energy to call on at any particular moment<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Some men have recently criticized me for using the term \u201ctoxic masculinity\u201d to describe the events that make our news cycle: Vegas shooter, Harvey Weinstein, tragedy in Charlottesville to name just a few.\u00a0 Some men, who I deeply respect, have said that I\u2019m giving men a bad rap by using this term. There is also a #NotAllMen campaign where men are claiming that we\u2019re unfairly being judged.\u00a0 They say not all men are guilty of these injustices.\u00a0 While this is true, it\u2019s also true that most of the chaos we are experiencing today is being perpetrated by men.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s time we take collective responsibility for how our social engineering is encouraging these problems. It\u2019s time we take collective responsibility for building up well-rounded, emotionally intelligent, empathetic young men.\u00a0 <\/em>The best way to do these things is by modeling this behavior as opposed to simply telling our boys what it means to \u201cBe a man.\u201d<\/p>\n

Most of us white privileged men may not personally be the cause of these news events, but are we willing to be a bigger part of the solution?\u00a0 Most men I know (including myself) justify our inaction by saying that we aren\u2019t personally causing harm.\u00a0 Because of this we put on our blinders go back to work and love our families. This is great, but the byproduct of this attitude is that we are leaving men of color and women to do the heavy lifting to create change.\u00a0 If you look at the people men who were walking with torches in Charlottesville- they looked like us.\u00a0 For these misguided men to change- the catalyst needs to be us.\u00a0 It\u2019s too much to ask the women and men of color to walk alone.\u00a0 They are the ones being discriminated against, we aren\u2019t.\u00a0 We must take this as an opportunity to step out of our privileged comfort zones to stand up and speak out against these injustices.<\/p>\n

Too often on our podcast<\/a> and many other places in my life, I stand by and observe.\u00a0 My wife Cathy is the one who assumes the role of the messenger about misogyny, women’s rights, racism, and other inequalities that we both witness in this world. Why do I not speak up more often? \u00a0Why is it so easy for men to remain complacent?<\/em> It\u2019s because we have less to lose.\u00a0 We are not being told what we can or cannot do with our body, we are not getting cat-called walking down the street, and we don\u2019t have to worry where we need to park in a parking garage to keep ourselves safe.<\/p>\n

So what do we do?\u00a0 We need to step up and speak out and take action as opposed simply read a post and go back to our day.\u00a0 So I invite my white male counterparts to take action with me.\u00a0 Below are a few actions\/resources that you can do today to help you step into the mature masculine.<\/p>\n

Todd<\/p>\n