I share with you some work I did yesterday on my own coaching call.  I decided to work on the self-judgment and belief that I am “bad” at body awareness and feeling my emotions through my body. My coach challenged me to write a recipe on how someone else can create the same situation in their life. Here’s my recipe:

1. Be really fucking hard on yourself
2. Don’t give the same compassion to yourself that you give to others
3. Make sure you blame your parents for fighting and forcing you to numb out your feelings in order for you to keep your sanity
4. Be sure to feel helpless
5. Believe there’s nothing that you can do about it
6. Ignore all evidence to the contrary such as when you were overwhelmed with sadness when your mom was sick in the hospital and dies and you were a freakin’ puddle of grief, tears, and sadness. Also ignore when you are feeling your heart fill up with gratitude when observing your three daughters laugh together and/or feeling the joy in your belly when playing games with friends and/or feel your whole body shake with ecstasy when making love to your wife
7. Believe your childhood wounds are an obstacle as opposed to a gift
8. Believe you are broken
9. Make sure to gain significance by telling yourself (and anybody else) the story that you are dead inside
10. Be sure to complain about it as if it’s a problem as opposed to knowing that everything is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to be
11. Make sure that when you do feel the beginning stages of feeling moved/hear your voice shake/feel the lump in your throat begin to well-up- to shut that shit down immediately by making a joke or changing the subject instead of breathing
12. Be sure to be closed off to any possibility of feeling moved
13. Make sure to believe that your magician (head) energy in much more important than your lover (heart) energy
14. Make sure you believe that vulnerability is a weakness
15. Be sure to not walk your talk- continue to read books and not practice it and instead tell other people how to do it
16. Make sure to believe that your ego is protecting you from harm
17. Be sure to believe that this is a problem
18. And for goodness sake- remain in your head at all costs!!!!