I share with you some work I did yesterday on my own coaching call. I decided to work on the self-judgment and belief that I am “bad” at body awareness and feeling my emotions through my body. My coach challenged me to write a recipe on how someone else can create the same situation in their life. Here’s my recipe:
- Be really fucking hard on yourself
- Don’t give the same compassion to yourself that you give to others
- Make sure you blame your parents for fighting and forcing you to numb out your feelings in order for you to keep your sanity
- Be sure to feel helpless
- Believe there’s nothing that you can do about it
- Ignore all evidence to the contrary such as when you were overwhelmed with sadness when your mom was sick in the hospital and dies and you were a freakin’ puddle of grief, tears, and sadness. Also ignore when you are feeling your heart fill up with gratitude when observing your three daughters laugh together and/or feeling the joy in your belly when playing games with friends and/or feel your whole body shake with ecstasy when making love to your wife
- Believe your childhood wounds are an obstacle as opposed to a gift
- Believe you are broken
- Make sure to gain significance by telling yourself (and anybody else) the story that you are dead inside
- Be sure to complain about it as if it’s a problem as opposed to knowing that everything is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to be
- Make sure that when you do feel the beginning stages of feeling moved/hear your voice shake/feel the lump in your throat begin to well-up- to shut that shit down immediately by making a joke or changing the subject instead of breathing
- Be sure to be closed off to any possibility of feeling moved
- Make sure to believe that your magician (head) energy in much more important than your lover (heart) energy
- Make sure you believe that vulnerability is a weakness
- Be sure to not walk your talk- continue to read books and not practice it and instead tell other people how to do it
- Make sure to believe that your ego is protecting you from harm
- Be sure to believe that this is a problem
- And for goodness sake- remain in your head at all costs!!!!
Comments 2
This is really hard to read. I mean it’s sad and I get the recipe- but I don’t want those ingredients.
We should trade recipes sometime, since we seem to have a lot of the same ingredients. Thanks for sharing and walking your walk.